After Adversity: How to Re-engage with Life Again
AUTHOR: Jackie M. Johnson
Preface: My good friend Jackie M. Johnson wrote this segment and thought it would be helpful to not just her audience but for us as well. We as Veterans, especially those who have gone through Combat deployments and experienced loss, understand how hard it is to get back to living life as if things were normal again. It never is and probably never will be but life can get better. Jackie shares a great way to get back into a sense of normalcy. Although she never served in the Military, Her dad and sister both served. Thank you Jackie for helping support The Warfighters Mission and writing this Blog! She will definitely be a big part of our blogs here in the near future.
New beginnings are never easy, especially after a difficult season of life like a breakup, divorce, death of a friend or relative, or another kind of loss.
Often, when we’re in emotional pain, we turn inward. We may withdraw from other people—even friends—and isolate ourselves.
During tough times, we may become more self-focused because the sadness or other emotions are so overwhelming. Maybe we feel like we have nothing to give to others. Or, we may neglect ourselves, forget what makes us happy, or detach from community.
Indeed, recovering from loss or adversity is a process, and it takes time.
But just as the darkest night turns into the brightest day, things will change in your life as well. As you heal, you’ll emerge from emotional darkness and start living in the light.
Eventually, you’ll begin to move forward.
You’ll wake up and yearn for more “life” in your life.
Maybe it’s time to re-engage with the areas of your life you may have neglected during your time of hardship, such as friendships, gratitude, joy, and more.
It’s a new start for your heart.
But before you dive into repairing the forgotten aspects of your life, it’s important to first grieve your losses.
If the loss is fresh, you’ll want to first process the pain so you can heal. Check out some of these post links to help you heal from a breakup or divorce, and how to deal with your swirling emotions, like fear, anger, sadness, or rejection.
Remembering Who You Are
After a horrible breakup years ago, I had been so consumed with my own misery of trying to get over a guy I thought I’d marry, that I nearly forgot who I was and what brought me joy.
Slowly, I began to make time for writing again. I played music that I enjoyed. And I took up nature photography to spend more time outdoors and find creative expression.
I spent a lot time with God in prayer and reading the Bible. I was encouraged as I remembered from Philippians 4:13 that, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
I was reminded that I was a dearly loved child of God. I was worth being loved well. I had a hope and a future. And our good and wise God was leading and guiding me every step of the way.
Waking Up To The Rest of Your Life
There are many ways to move forward after difficult times. Here are six key areas to revisit as you find healing and wake up to the rest of your life. You can arise to:
1. Gratitude
2. Connection
3. Joy
4. Serving
5. Purpose, and
6. Adventure.
Arise to Gratitude
No matter what you’ve been through, there’s always a place for thankfulness. In fact, when you arise to gratitude, your thankful heart soars higher than your circumstances and you find joy.
A grateful heart appreciates all that God has done for you—and will do in the future. Thank Him for healing your heart and your circumstances, no matter how far you’ve come. Gratefulness leads to joy.
Arise to Connection
Oftentimes, isolation can lead to a lack of connection with others. You don’t feel like going out. Or, you don’t answer calls or texts.
Instead of trying to be tough and self-sufficient, it’s important to realize that it’s okay to rely on others, especially Christian friends who are accepting and trustworthy.
The truth is, we were created for relationships. I once heard a pastor say that when you are separated from authentic community then you are easy prey for the enemy because you are isolated and alone.
Whether it’s with your family, friends, church, book club, Bible study, sports team, or other types of community, we all need human contact.
Being in healthy and supportive friendships can be very healing. As people show kindness and treat you well, they reinforce the truths you’ve learned that you are worthy and have infinite value. Proverbs 27:17 reminds us, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”
Why not reach out to a friend you’ve haven’t seen for a while, or make a new one?
Arise to Joy
If you’ve been sad or discouraged for a long time, you’re probably wondering when you will ever feel joy again.
Psalm 126:5 says, “Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.” As you get further down the heart healing road, joy returns. You remember how good it feels to laugh. And you find delight in playing with your sister’s kids or a friend’s new puppy.
Here’s an idea: Visualize yourself being joyful. Some baseball players mentally prepare themselves by imagining the steps they will take during the game. They see themselves winning. What do you envision for the next stage of your life? Imagine yourself laughing with friends, enjoying family, and doing what you love best.
Arise to Serving
Author Mark Twain said, “The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer up somebody else." Why? Because you’re focusing on others and their needs, not just your own. Also, when we help others we bless them, and experience joy.
God created us for Himself and part of our calling is to serve other people. “For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10)
Arise to Purpose
God has uniquely crafted you to accomplish His good purposes. In addition to serving, we were made to worship God, to enjoy Him, to love others, and to fulfill our callings in work, ministry, and life.
Did you know that you were created by God and for Him? He crafted you with your unique intellect, creativity, and personality to use your gifts and talents. What is your passion? What do you dream of accomplishing?
Take some time to discover why you’re here and what you want to do with your life.
God is calling you in this new season of your life, so what will your answer be?
Arise to Adventure
Perhaps you’ve heard the saying, “A ship in a harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are meant for.” Ships are made to be launched and to go somewhere—not stay tethered to a mooring in a harbor.
Certainly, there are times when ships need to be pulled from the water for repairs. But they don’t remain there forever. In stormy weather or smooth seas, sunshine or rain, ships sail on.
Yet people who’ve gone through loss and hard times often desire to stay in the safety of the harbor—they don’t want to risk being vulnerable or try new things. Consider what
Theodore Roosevelt once said about taking risks:
“Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs,
even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those
poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much because
they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.”
Beginning again can be challenging. And it takes a leap of faith to go from just existing to living a full life again.
But instead of a blind leap, you can take an informed leap of faith when you know who is steering the ship of your life. With God as your Captain, trust is built and fear subsides because you know that He is entirely reliable, dependable, and faithful. He has come through in your past, and He will continue to take care of you in the future.
Choose to put God first. Talk with Him often in prayer, and He will heal your broken heart and reveal your next steps.
Trust God. Take action. And watch what happens next.
Who knows what adventures await?
Jackie M. Johnson is an author and blogger who writes inspiring content on growing a better life, the power of prayer, and encouragement for singles. Jackie has a heart to encourage single adults of all ages, and she has led numerous small groups and Bible studies for singles. Her books include the breakup recovery guide, When Love Ends and the Ice Cream Carton Is Empty, Power Prayers for Women, and Praying with Power When Life Gets Tough. Connect with Jackie at JackieJohnsonCreative.com.
